(I am selling tickets to our companies 50/50 Draw and I was supposed to pick up my ticket packet last week but was too lazy to walk up the stairs to my Co-workers office to get them. So I IM'd her instead.)
Me: You! I demand you walk down here and bring me those tickets! Ditty mow!
Co-worker: You totally said you'd come get them you weiner!
Me: Yeah, well, I got Polio. In my legs. Because that's what Polio does.
Me: Seriously, I'm not lying. Don't be all hatin' and racist against Polio what with all my Polio withered legs.
Co-worker: No. I'm not bringing them.
Me: NOT EVERYONES PARENTS LOVED THEM ENOUGH TO GIVE THEM THE POLIO VACCINE YOU KNOW!
Co-worker: I'll be down in five