Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just Because I Couldn't Come Up With A Catchy Title Doesn't Mean This Isn't Still Interesting

I have a disease. It's called "Cantthinkofathingtowriteitus" and it's highly contagious and the only cure is six lines of crack cocaine. I spent all my money on useless home decor things last week I can't afford six lines of crack cocaine. I'm just going to have to carefully snort lines of Good Host* Ice Tea Mix off of my desk with my door wide open and hope my co-workers notice. It's a great conversation starter.

Example Conversation:

"Hey..are you sniffing Nestea mix off your desk with a rolled up peice of paper?"
"Then what are you sniffing?"
"Good Host Ice Tea Mix, betch, because I can't afford the good stuff."
"I'm just...going to go now."

See that? Instant friends. I'm really amazed that I don't have more work friends then I already do. What more could they want? I've got a sparkling personality, dazzling looks and a crippling addiction to ice tea that I keep in my cabinet next to my stockpile of glitter. Can never have enough glitter, as my grandmamee always said.

If you haven't already guessed I have no clue what the topic of this exact blog is but I'm pretty sure I'll just meander my way to some type of moralistic, life improving moral that would leave you all better people which would then allow me to acheive Sainthood and the ability to shoot rainbows and puppies out of my eyeballs. It'd be pretty wicked. I'd be able to walk around feeling even more superior and entilted. If anyone has a problem with it they'd get a Labrador in their face via my eyes. Now that's hardcore.

Wow, that came out alot more blasphemous then I expected. Still hardcore. Like, look at those puppies. I'd be terrified if those things came out of someones rainbow filled eyes. Just terrified.

*Poor Mans Ice Tea or Cheap Addiction?

1 comment:

  1. I thought I was the only one who snorted cheap Iced Tea. Glad I'm not alone.


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