Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Favorite YouTube Video Of All Time

I've got to say that THIS music video is my all time favorite YouTube video I have ever watched. I've shared it with everyone I have ever met (And those that I haven't even met) because I. JUST. CAN'T. STOP. WATCHING. IT!

I never really was a fan of the old He-Man cartoons but this? This is just magic.

And my favorite part of this? When the Chef is sitting in the kitchen, stirring the soup, and the music is muted in the background as if he was missing THE GREATEST PARTY EVER! But he's OK with it. Because he's the Chef. And he's got to make the soup just right. For the party. He's not invited too. Because he's the Chef.

And then he goes home and cries to his mother.

Who's dead.

And still in his room.

And the music is catchy.

I guess.

Why did I write about my favorite Youtube video? Because of these guys and their awesome scripted drama's on Youtube!

You Are Not The Father

"My sperm, they've still got it!" - Larry King to the surprise of everyone ever.

I think Womb Mate might have some explaining to do.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

You Should Give Me Money

I know Christmas is over and everyone is all "Meh, Charity sucks balls and since Santa isn't around to guilt me into helping anyone I'm going to say FUCK YOU to all Charity and sleep until next Christmas!" and I get that, I'm like that too.

I'd sooner punch someone in the nuts then think about Christmas Charity.

But, my birthday is coming up this Saturday and I'm going to be old as balls (Read as 25) and you know what would be a great birthday gift?

If you head over to and pay for me to write you something! Or, make you a movie trailer.


Because, you know, I like to eat and you need money to eat.

And you guys love me, right?


Monday, January 7, 2013

Smell My Finger. No, Really, Smell It.

Sometimes, when I'm out in public, and I see people sniffing apples or sampling perfume I wonder if they are actually doing this an excuse to sniff their fingers and make sure it doesn't smell like Vagina or Dick.

Scratching dick leaves a stink on your fingers, right?

Because if not, I'm calling BULLSHIT because why are guys allowed to run around touching their penis and no one can tell because their fingers don't stink.

Why can't girls have that type of diddle secrecy.

Friday, January 4, 2013

A New Year, A New Dedication

You know what? It's a New Year and everyone is like "Oh, Let's make resolutions about things that will improve my life and give me money and happiness and make my less fat!" and I was totally all, Wow, that is a smart thing to do, I'm going to do that too!

But then I realized, fuck, that takes work. Like, so much work.

And then I watched Netflix for the hundredth time.

Then it dawned on me that I can totally make my Blog my resolution.

I'm going back to my regular posting schedule come hell or high water or multiple posts of internet cats.

But, you all want the Internet Cats, don't you?

Don't you?

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