Saturday, December 8, 2012

So, I Made This Commercial

So, this one time, I had to make this commercial of this well known product for Film School and during the filming of it, I may or may not been indirectly involved with our Actress losing a layer of skin on her shoulder because one of the men chasing her got too enthusiastic when we told him to tackle her and they missed the grass by an inch and hit the cement instead. And she was bleeding all over and it was really cold and we had her in shorts but figured "Fuck it, we aren't rich, we shouldn't have to provide blankets!" and then she slightly froze until our shoot was over.

And then she later came back to do a pants-less music video for us. She's a trooper.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

It's Been A Long, Long Time.

It's been an awful long time since I have blogged anything and I'm going to, once again, blame it on having such a busy schedule.

Film School is going great, life is just peachy, and everything is dandy.

Except that, y'know, I'm getting to a point with this blog that I'm afraid I might have run out of things to say. What can I say to my audience that will tickle their feathers and boner their wieners?

I'm afraid I've lost the magic that sent my fingers typing in a flurry of flanges.

Perhaps I can talk about the music video I just did where the actress spent 90% of the time running around in a shirt, a bowler hat, and no underwear and we didn't discover this until we asked her to straddle and ride on the back of a Panda.

Or perhaps I can talk about how another actress involved brought her cute puppy a long to the shoot until we all realized it was in the middle of heat and bleeding all over the place.

Wouldn't it be funny if I mentioned how I may or may not have broken an old French man's back and instead of sending him to the hospital we gave him a bunch of random pills we found in a shady little pill box and then forced him to keep fake playing guitar while a near naked boy danced next to him?

It'd be more hilarious if I tickled your fancy with a story about how said music video was shut down because a rumor went around the school that we were going to force naked ladies to crawl through the mud while a child wearing full bondage dragged her around on a collar.

But, alas, my life has been pretty dull and I've lost the drive to tell funny, witty stories. I might as well curl up with my asshole dog and give up.
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