Sunday, July 3, 2011

If This Doesn't Get You Excited For Monday, Well Then F*ck You!

You know how Michael Bay is all like "Hey, I can make movies that involve robots and explosions and slow motion titties bouncing up and down and maybe throw in a storyline somewhere in there but I'm going to mostly focus on titties?" and his movies ended up being somewhat famous even though he's sort of a douche.

And then I was totally "I could totally make better movies than Michael Bay" and I set out and made two short movies that are totally wicked awesome except they don't have anything to do with boobies or explosions or even a simple storyline for that matter but instead I made two movies about popcorn. Yeah, that's right, popcorn.

So basically I'm saying that on Monday and Tuesday I will be premiering my movies and you are all invited to the show but not the cool after party with all the actors and stuff because I don't think I'm going to have enough free cocaine to share with everyone and I'm sort of a greedy asshole like that. But you might be able to come to the after after party and be the person who cleans up everyone elses vomit. Because that's fun, right?

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I once punched a baby kitten and then it died of cancer. The punch might have given it cancer. Comment or I'll punch you in the baby-maker.

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