Dear Sam Neil, Go F*ck yourself

 Dear Sam Neil,

Go Fuck yourself.Hey, how is it going? I imagine you have a lot of spare time what with no one offering you any type of movie deal because you aren't really that good of an actor anyways, I mean the dinosaurs out acted you and they aren't even real are super busy so I will try not to take up a lot of your time.

You are probably wondering why I am writing this letter to you and also probably why I decided to deliver it via a brick to your face. Since you are such a terrible great Hollywood actor I know your face is such a horribly ugly thing you should get checked out because it's probably cancer great asset to your career I figured you would notice if it was being beat with a blunt, brick-like object.

I'm writing you because of a website that I'm pretty sure was spawned by Satan and a llama an Internet rumor that is going around claiming that I look like you! I'm going to kill you for starting it Funny isn't it?

I just wanted to put this rumour to rest because we both obviously know it's not true. If anything you look like me and you should obviously go cry about your failed acting career be honored and giddy about it.

You should probably know that I know a lot of Kungfu and can totally kick you in the knees and junk so it'd be wise if you took this seriously when I say: Please stop using my name and looks to try and revive an already dead thriving career. I may not have a weenie like you but I am pretty sure I can find it really easy to punch it.

Also, can you get me an autograph from that T-Rex that totally out acted you even though he was a robot made of plastic and wires and stuff was your co-star in Jurassic park?

Thanks,

Me

PS: I decided to include a picture so you can see that I am serious. That is totally me kicking that dog.