Thursday, August 18, 2011

An Update So I Can Brag, Ok?

I just thought I would give some sort of update because the baby still isn't here and it has caused my Womb Mate to go on a tirade about how her fiancé and baby daddy has trapped her with a child and it means he may or may not kill her out back and hide her in the swamp.

Or threatening to murder him or grind him up.

She is really flip-flopping on her hate, honestly.

Because the baby hasn't showed up yet, they are going to induce her on Monday. This baby, who is being an ignorant dink, has caused me to extend my time here for another week and that is another week I can't be having sexy fun times with The Pilot. He has probably already found a temporary replacement girlfriend in the meantime. It also means I get to cut a bitch when I get home.

So what is a person to do when their whole life and universe is in the wrinkled hands of an unborn baby?

Buy an iPad of course.

And write a blog post that is a thinly veiled attempt to brag about it. Did I mention that this was typed on one?

Because it totally was, bitch.

1 comment:

  1. That's awesome!

    You're hilarious, btw.

    ReplyDelete

I once punched a baby kitten and then it died of cancer. The punch might have given it cancer. Comment or I'll punch you in the baby-maker.

 
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