I bet when you came to this here blog today you were all like "Wow, this looks totally awesome and different" and "Oh my god, did your blog loose weight?" or perhaps "Did your blog change it's hair colour?" and you know what? Screw you, my blog wasn't fat before. It was just a little big boned, that's all. It was baby fat that would eventually melt off and leave a beautiful, delicate, crassy swan in it's place to honk in your face about all the insults you used to secretly hurl at it in pre-swan days.
Despite calling my blog fat, all those questions are technically right. My blog got a make-over because I decided I was important and special enough to have a professionally designed blog and when I stumbled across April Showers Design on Twitter and I was all "Hey, you should totally design me a blog and I'll pay you in asshole family pets!" and when she shiftily came back with "Or cash?" I couldn't fault her for not wanting to have an asshole dog and BAM! I got this lovely blog designed.
And you know what a new blog design makes me want to do? It makes me want to give stuff away. FREE stuff, so that's even better. AmIright?
Thankfully my biggest whore, Erin, over at Blogging Is For Dorks, decided that she was going to be a Julia Roberts whore by being all benevolent and give me a free T-Shirt from her shop Dork Designs so I could give it away once my blog stopped being fat. Or big boned.
So you can have a chance to win this shirt but not the dude and short of not in that colour.
Want to enter to get a free shirt? Here's the rules:
1. Not be a whore.
2. OK, maybe you can possibly be a whore.
3. Be a follower of this here blog.
5. Leave a comment to enter into the draw.
6. Want to win a second entry? Follow me on Twitter at @tristachio
7. Want to win a third entry? Get other people to enter the contest and have them leave a comment below saying who sent them.
The draw for this T-shirt will be on July 8th because I like picking deadlines randomly on the calender. The winner will be selected randomly by a random generator or perhaps sticking tape to my dogs paw and having him step on the entries. Who knows, but either way it will be magical.