Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Someone Needs A Falcon Punch

The other day while The Pilot and I were shopping at a grocery store we had never shopped at before in an area that I'd like to call sketchy but The Pilot says isn't sketchy because the buildings around were too nice and it was close to the Hospital, we happened to stumble upon something that made me laugh and shake in disgust at the same time.

When we came back to our vehicle after shopping around the store, I happened to notice something that was next to the vehicle that wasn't there before and fuck me, I didn't even bring my camera.

Next to the vehicle was a used pregnant test. A recently used pregnancy test. So, this basically means someone bought a test in the grocery store and decided to use it with our vehicle as cover for the fact they are poppin' a squat in the ghetto grocery parking lot.

Then I realized that the dog was in the vehicle while we were inside and most likely had witnesses the whole thing. And it made me wonder how awkward that would have been to be peeing on a stick in a parking lot of a grocery store while some random dog watched and or barked at you.

And then I realized it was positive.

And then I cursed myself for not having my phone and taking a picture.

And then I went home and made dinner.


  1. did she not know that there are bathrooms in grocery stores? gross.

  2. Maybe she peed in the bathroom and took the stick out with her?

    1. It's certainly possible that she did that but I think I like your version better! Although it might have traumatized your poor dog.

  3. I agree, she does need a Falcon Punch. It's free, and super effective. Obviously unlike her form of birth control.

  4. I would like to take this opportunity to say that this is exactly why I'm very pro-choice.

  5. I bet she's going to be having an awkward mothers day. Oh snap.

  6. Wow. I am pretty sure that if you find out you are pregnant in a ghetto parking lot, that it is mandatory to get an abortion.

  7. She wouldn't walk through the grocery store waving around a piss covered stick just to drop it like a cigaret butt before she got in the car. I would also doubt she'd carry a piss covered stick in her pocket. So, my extensive experience in watching criminal investigation tv shows leads me to believe trou was dropped in the lot.

    (In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.)
    "dun dun"


I once punched a baby kitten and then it died of cancer. The punch might have given it cancer. Comment or I'll punch you in the baby-maker.

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