(This conversation took place after watching an episode of 'Sister Wives' on Sunday)
Me: "I think our lives will be so much better if I were able to have another boyfriend. You could have a Brother Husband and he could do all the stuff you don't want to do."
The Pilot: "Like what?"
Me: "Like, buy me a Bobcat for Christmas. Or an Alligator I could ride on."
The Pilot: " Good luck with that one."
Me: "Fine, I actually hope that your Brother Husband makes the dog love him the most and Bowie will never love you ever, ever again."
The Pilot: "Yeah, let's see him try."
Me: "If you ruin my plans for a Brother Husband for you, I'm going to email your mom about how you are forcing me into Polygamy and your hedonistic ways."
The Pilot: "Yeah right, all I have to do is go onto skype and cry mmmmooooommmmyyyy and she will come up here and murder you with her bare hands."
Me: "Are you threatening me?"
The Pilot: "She's got a black belt in Ninjitsu and a brown belt in Judo, only because she doesn't have the flipping power need to advance to the black belt stage."
Me: "You just used your moms Karate skills to threaten me out of giving you a Brother Husband for Christmas?"
The Pilot: "It's not a threat. I'm just letting you know that my mom is perfectly capable of murdering you with her bare hands at my request."
Me: "I'm totally asking your mom about her radical kung-fu over Christmas dinner."
The Pilot: "Do it, and she'll murder you with the same hands she uses to dish out Christmas pie."