Thursday, November 10, 2011

Polygamy Sort Of Just Made My Life Awesome

(This conversation took place after watching an episode of 'Sister Wives' on Sunday)

Me: "I think our lives will be so much better if I were able to have another boyfriend. You could have a Brother Husband and he could do all the stuff you don't want to do."

The Pilot: "Like what?"

Me: "Like, buy me a Bobcat for Christmas. Or an Alligator I could ride on."

The Pilot: " Good luck with that one."

Me: "Fine, I actually hope that your Brother Husband makes the dog love him the most and Bowie will never love you ever, ever again."

The Pilot: "Yeah, let's see him try."

Me: "If you ruin my plans for a Brother Husband for you, I'm going to email your mom about how you are forcing me into Polygamy and your hedonistic ways."
The Pilot: "Yeah right, all I have to do is go onto skype and cry mmmmooooommmmyyyy and she will come up here and murder you with her bare hands."

Me: "Are you threatening me?"

The Pilot: "She's got a black belt in Ninjitsu and a brown belt in Judo, only because she doesn't have the flipping power need to advance to the black belt stage."

Me: "You just used your moms Karate skills to threaten me out of giving you a Brother Husband for Christmas?"

The Pilot: "It's not a threat. I'm just letting you know that my mom is perfectly capable of murdering you with her bare hands at my request."

Me: "I'm totally asking your mom about her radical kung-fu over Christmas dinner."

The Pilot: "Do it, and she'll murder you with the same hands she uses to dish out Christmas pie."

9 comments:

  1. I just started watching that show on Netflix-- at first I started watching it because I thought it would be funny (does that make me an asshole?) then I started feeling really bad for them that they don't get to live they way they want to live out in the open.. I mean.. as long as they aren't like forcing children to marry old guys-- what harm could it be?

    Also, this is the best conversation I've seen documented in a while.

    That's all. :)

    Also, I'm a new follower.. so herrrrooo. :)

    Ryan @ Thismustbetheplaceryan

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  2. @Ryan Adair: I totally watched it for the same reason and then I felt sad too but then I realized I really dislike the husband and then I found myself addicted to watching it and then that made me sad.

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  3. I don't hate him, but I do think it is weird that he makes-nasty with several woman during the week.. I am just hoping he showers daily.. for their sake. >.<

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  4. What a cool thing to learn about you mother - in -law !

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  5. "Me: "Like, buy me a Bobcat for Christmas. Or an Alligator I could ride on.""

    I am happy to see that someone else understands that requests like these are perfectly reasonable.

    I would like to hug a polar bear and own a miniature donkey.

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  6. LOL @ The Pilot: "Do it, and she'll murder you with the same hands she uses to dish out Christmas pie."

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I once punched a baby kitten and then it died of cancer. The punch might have given it cancer. Comment or I'll punch you in the baby-maker.

 
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