Thursday, February 24, 2011

HGTV Is Ruining My Relationship

Have you ever seen an episode of Dr.Phil in which it's just dedicated to parents who have kids who have very bad tempers and are possibly psychotic and they go onto the Dr.Phil show thinking that he is going to make it better and give them the skills they need to be better parents but all he actually does is yell at them and point out how shitty of a parent they are and never really gets around to helping them? Or, possibly, an episode of the Tyra Banks show where even if her next guest is someone who was sexually assaulted by a bear in a man suit and then was attacked by an actual bear and before they could even tell their story she is making it about her and how she had a bad hair day or that she forgot to put her tampon in correctly or something?

Yeah, HGTV isn't like that but it is ruining my relationship. I've officially been banned from watching HGTV in our apartment or anywhere really. The Pilot's reason? Watching that channel and seeing happy people who probably don't even deserve homes and should be homeless but instead they are happy and buying homes or re-decorating homes get to have all the fun and it makes me realize that they need to be punched in the stomach.

I want a house. I want to have a home of my own. I'm tired of living in an apartment and watching them get to do what I want so badly is annoying and it turns me into an envious crank pot and I spend hours talking about what I will eventually do when I have my own home.

And even though I know that a house isn't in the works for The Pilot and I for at least another year (or more) it doesn't stop me from wanting one so bad.

So instead I'm left sneaking peeks at HGTV while The Pilot is working and I'm home alone.

When he asks me what I did all day? I lie and say I watched Full House and read War & Peace to the dog.


  1. House Hunters always does it for me. I especially love when the buyers love the house, but then walk into the master bedroom closet that is as big as my freaking double-wide and say "oh this house won't do. The closets are way too tiny." UGH! Asshats.
    By the way, I know how you feel. I'd rather have a house that's MINE than this stupid extra large tin can I live in.

  2. Every time I watch HGTV, I come up with a thousand projects for my husband. Everyone just looks sooo productive on that show. My husband? Not so much.


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