Wednesday, February 23, 2011

4 Signs That I May Potentially Be Dating A Child

  1. The Pilot's Reasoning as to why he believes the Whale is Different in Each Free Willy Movie: "It's a different whale and they all have the same deformed fin because the whale is sad that they got caught and their fins flop when they are depressed."
  2. What The Pilot Thought A Bar mitzvah Was: "You mean it's not a Jewish gathering of 13 year olds that get circumcised together?"
  3. When in Charge of Grocery Shopping for One Night: "I brought home chicken nuggets! They are shaped like stars and planets and stuff."
  4. In attempts to get me to guess the historical documentary he was watching on Netflix about Auschwitz: "Guess what I'm going to watch? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with Sandwich."


  1. Oh my God. I never want to leave your blog. I want to camp out here for months and feel like I live with you and your silly boyfriend and blow job giving dog. Please?

  2. @Sara: We shall adopt you and raise you as our own and when you either get too expensive or boring we shall take all your belongings and release you into the wild because that's how you end parenting. You just abandon the child in the woods with no food or water.


I once punched a baby kitten and then it died of cancer. The punch might have given it cancer. Comment or I'll punch you in the baby-maker.

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