Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas: No One Died This Year.

Christmas has basically come and gone and considering that I haven't lost any limbs and The Pilot still has all of his limbs and the dog hasn't been stolen or murdered, I'm going to have to say Christmas was a complete fucking success.
We all got great gifts and some great gifts where given and everyone had a great time.

Did I mention that no one was murdered yet?

Christmas with The Pilot's family has been different, that's a good safe word for it right? This is the first time in my twenty-three-odd years of life that I haven't spent Christmas with my family and The Pilot is French and we all know the French are fucking weird so I wasn't sure of what I was going to encounter this Christmas.

Basically Christmas boiled down to the fact that The Pilot and I had to creatively come up with a way to avoid Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve because we are Godless heathens and sit around watching Gremlin's while everyone else was trapped at an extremely boring Mass that left a bitter taste in their mouth and complaints.

The Pilot and I had no complaints over Gremlins.

And then at Midnight we got to open our gifts because that's how the French roll and then after that gift opening? Yeah, we had a big ole French feast of meat pie and other delicious stuff and when we finished eating? It was totally 3:00am Christmas morning.

And then we slept all Christmas day and then had Turkey dinner.

Oh, and watched The Green Mile because that's totally what the spirit of Christmas is all about.

The Pilot and I totally also messed with his mothers nativity scene and when she found it under the tree Christmas Day, The Pilot totally got the blame for my horrible misdeeds.

And then we made shortbread and The Pilot got banned from decorating cookies because he wanted to be offensive and I totally got called the best genuis ever when I made a Bigfoot and Mr. T cookie.


  1. I'm glad no one died :) And I love the green mile! Sounds like a fun Christmas!

  2. The first Christmas away from your family really is a strange experience.

  3. Ah Gremlins.... question for you:
    You're not allowed to feed him after midnight, but technically, it's always after midnight. even 23:59 is still 23 hours and 59 minutes AFTER midnight. So what? you have to feed the things just once and once only on the day you get it, or do you have to feed it at midnight on the dot every single fucking night and be careful with your time? What if your watch is running slow?

    Sorry, that line in the movie just pisses me off.... maybe I'll go and have a rant about it.

  4. @Recently Roached: I'm glad no one died too.

    @Kathy: It totally is.

    @Joutlaw: I had the same damn thought when I was watching that. The only thing I could figure is that those little fucks are supposed to starve forever, because they are assholes.


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