Thanksgiving Isn't Thanksgiving Without The Penis Talks

Right now I am currently away with my family at their cabin in the woods that will probably be the perfect setting for an ax murdering to happen and you know what? I'm going to make sure I am on the right side of the ax in that scenario.

I'm just giving a quick update because I'd like to go on record that I may or may not have embarrassed The Pilot by staging a fake blow job so it looked like he was an extreme pervert while watching television in my parents livingroom.

Or how I spent my whole Thanksgiving dinner talking about the horror of uncircumsized dinks.

Or stuffing my nephew into a pumpkin against his will.

You know, the usual.